Poker Players Against Superplayer Alliance
This announcement is neither about bad beats nor great hands, but rather, it is an effort to work towards improving the overall health of the game of poker. The PPASA is intended to be the prescription for the fungus that calls himself “superplayer.”
Often inciting confrontation and prone to unpleasantness, this unsightly individual has been reported to have recently run players away from local games by engaging in both verbal and physical altercations with players and dealers. This week, one of the most docile players in a local game struck him with a pair of random playing cards after being antagonized to the point of infuriation.
On an occasion in July, a player I will refer to as Kash was assaulted by superplayer at the Sushi joint. The argument started when Kash asked to see superplayer’s cards after having called a bet on the river in a game of hold’em. Apparently, superplayer was unaware of his obligation to expose his cards in this situation, despite professing to play “87 tables at a time” on the internet.
Just two weeks ago, not a hand had been dealt before he was at it again. This time, Slick E, the fastest dealer in town, didn’t even make it through the chip buying process. Superplayer had put three hundred’s on the table while requesting to buy in for two hundred forty six dollars and thirty five cents, as he is want to do. Basically what happens from here on out is Slick E informs him that he cannot accommodate his request and superplayer threatens to pull a knife.
Apparently there would be a part two the next week as we saw the end of Slick E brought about by our local yeast infection. Slick E was snapping the cards like a whip but apparently that wasn’t fast enough for superplayer, who claimed to have seen his card get exposed. Calling out his own card to be a four of spades, he then proceeded to flip it over, revealing a card of a completely different denomination and suit…jackass. Pathetically refusing to accept his embarrassing mistake, he went flailing around the table flipping other peoples cards over in an irritating attempt to catch his one outer. Slick E, always doing what’s right, decided to call superplayer a variety of expletives and storm out.
Superplayer’s behavior crosses the boundaries set by both etiquette and ethics and is frankly often worthy of criminal culpability. The Poker Players Against Superplayer Alliance vows to exert our collective influence on local poker organizers in an effort to rid the triangle poker community of his general douchebaggery.
Additionally, we will advocate for local poker players to refer to him with a more accurately descriptive moniker. It has occurred to most of us that he is not, in fact, “super” at all, but rather a far more pedestrian variety of player. Any one of the following nicknames would be more appropriate:
Mediocreplayer
Hemorrhoid of Poker
Gayerplayer
This announcement is neither about bad beats nor great hands, but rather, it is an effort to work towards improving the overall health of the game of poker. The PPASA is intended to be the prescription for the fungus that calls himself “superplayer.”
Often inciting confrontation and prone to unpleasantness, this unsightly individual has been reported to have recently run players away from local games by engaging in both verbal and physical altercations with players and dealers. This week, one of the most docile players in a local game struck him with a pair of random playing cards after being antagonized to the point of infuriation.
On an occasion in July, a player I will refer to as Kash was assaulted by superplayer at the Sushi joint. The argument started when Kash asked to see superplayer’s cards after having called a bet on the river in a game of hold’em. Apparently, superplayer was unaware of his obligation to expose his cards in this situation, despite professing to play “87 tables at a time” on the internet.
Just two weeks ago, not a hand had been dealt before he was at it again. This time, Slick E, the fastest dealer in town, didn’t even make it through the chip buying process. Superplayer had put three hundred’s on the table while requesting to buy in for two hundred forty six dollars and thirty five cents, as he is want to do. Basically what happens from here on out is Slick E informs him that he cannot accommodate his request and superplayer threatens to pull a knife.
Apparently there would be a part two the next week as we saw the end of Slick E brought about by our local yeast infection. Slick E was snapping the cards like a whip but apparently that wasn’t fast enough for superplayer, who claimed to have seen his card get exposed. Calling out his own card to be a four of spades, he then proceeded to flip it over, revealing a card of a completely different denomination and suit…jackass. Pathetically refusing to accept his embarrassing mistake, he went flailing around the table flipping other peoples cards over in an irritating attempt to catch his one outer. Slick E, always doing what’s right, decided to call superplayer a variety of expletives and storm out.
Superplayer’s behavior crosses the boundaries set by both etiquette and ethics and is frankly often worthy of criminal culpability. The Poker Players Against Superplayer Alliance vows to exert our collective influence on local poker organizers in an effort to rid the triangle poker community of his general douchebaggery.
Additionally, we will advocate for local poker players to refer to him with a more accurately descriptive moniker. It has occurred to most of us that he is not, in fact, “super” at all, but rather a far more pedestrian variety of player. Any one of the following nicknames would be more appropriate:
Mediocreplayer
Hemorrhoid of Poker
Gayerplayer
Help improve the state of the game and join the PPASA!
3 comments:
I think you hit on a great revenue stream there, Gator! I imagine you can pretty much ask any amount you want for membership, and soon the money will start pouring in from dozens of locals, and hundreds of internet players. Once we get enough prople signed up, maybe we'll go march on Washington DC. :-)
After posting everyone's license plates a few weeks back, I'm rethinking what our hero's should be. My new choice would be:
NZTG8R
(Keep trying, Dave - it'll come to you...)
LMAO
S.P.
Superplayer is a cancer to all games. Off w/ his head. Long live Slick E, the fastest dealer in town.
DBabb
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