In no particular order.... - The possibility of a cavity search *** I know there are a couple of you guys that would really like that... so I decided to put a pic of Jessica up to adequately motivate you.
- Cut-off times/close down times *** This to me is one of the biggest. As someone who has played some games in Vegas and AC, I like knowing that if I get sucked out on by someone, I don't have 15 minutes more to play so with NO time to win back the $$$ from the suck out, I leave with fewer chips. I know the old rule... "there'll be another game tomorrow" but I like knowing that at 3:45am, if I take an $800 hit, as long as I can re-buy, I have a shot at the money.
- Table selection *** Not much we can do about this one! The games with one or two tables attract enough attention that we'll probably never have a poker room in the area where we truly have a selection of tables at which to play. The large casino's with monstrous poker rooms will always have that advantage. Where you can walk in and there are 50 tables to choose from with various games and buy-in requirements. How sweet it is!
- Rake *** We've chattered about this one long enough. We know who the crooks are and we have to decide whether we are willing to play with them or not. Unfortunately because we don't have the selection of rooms and games that we would in a true gambling city, we have to put up with it or find another game. I'm not asking for much here. I just want to know what the rake amount is and to see it removed from the table surface in one move at the end of the hand. I understand that we live in a "no game zone" and that the proprietors are taking more risk and for that fact, I think that raking more than we would see in true casino is OK, but again, I just want to know how much it is and see the dealer remove it from the table surface at the end of the hand where everyone can see how much the rake for that hand totaled.
- Rules *** What a concept! Have a copy or access to an online copy of Robert's Rules in the room and abide by them. Don't change it from week to week or in the Juice's game, from hand to hand based on who you would like to win the pot. It's not rocket science! It's poker and it's important to know that you are going to be treated fairly... lose when you lose but win when you win.
- Dealers *** This is one that really chaps my shorts too. I see all kinds of dealers in the local rooms. There are some good ones, but there are some that should not be in control of the table. That's part of the problem! They are NOT in control of the table. Most don't understand the rules of the game so therefore they cannot or will not run the game. Most have the attention span of an 8th note and cannot or will not force the action in a game. This is especially painful in our most recent game of choice, Omaha 8. If your dealer is not 100% focused on keeping this game moving, it is like dental work. The majority of the guys at the table want the game to move quickly. We typically aren't playing every hand so when the dealer gets off point, it is horrible. Talking about everything from the stock market, to basketball, to football, to snappers, turd cutters and man-pleasers. What they do not apparently realize is that their lack of focus is costing them and the poker room $$$. The more games we play, the more rake they take, the more tips they make. Here's an idea or two....
1) Pay attention - If you must get into conversations, make them brief and time them when Bill T, Ron or Dean is on the clock, it is going to happen about 2nd or 3rd hand and that'll provide lots of chat time. If you're dealing Omaha, stop at 4 cards to each player. It's not a hard route, learn it. Know how much the bet is and who's turn it is to act.
2) Force the action - Announce at the beginning of each night that you are not there to upset anyone or make any enemies, but you are going to keep the game moving and if someone is taking too long, you will call clock on them. Don't force the players to do it. If it is big bet or big pot, I fully understand someone needing additional time to figure out what they must do, but if you just bet $200 into a $50 pot and get re-raised $1,000, you've probably got a pretty good idea where you stand. Keep it moving.
3) Don't look at mucked cards - Even if the guy feels he has the monster of all monsters (but is completely willing to fold it).... run the game! If you want to learn to play, buy in or buy a dvd. There's plenty available. When you look at the muck, you're slowing the game down and giving other players an opportunity to see your reaction or catch a glimpse of the cards.
4) Know the game - Please don't have to have other people tell you who won the hand. If a player violates the rules, inform him and let's move on.
5) In split pot games, don't be surprised when the game is over that you must split the pot.... once there is a potential low, begin at least segregating the chips so that when the hand is over, you can distribute the chips to the appropriate players and let's play the next hand.
- Food *** Keep it simple. In most of the games that I play, the house tries to provide good food for us, but I'm not there for dinner, I want to play cards so the less distractions to that for me are better. Having said that.... Medium rare please.
I'm going to quit here for now.... the Juice always gives me a hard time about posting novels so I'll listen to him and hopefully some of you other readers will chime in on your thoughts about how to make the local poker rooms better for all of us. I look forward to your input.
Let the suck outs begin!
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