Pet Peeves.... poor etiquette!

There are several pet peeves that I have in poker. I am certain that we'll probably have to endure it for quite a while yet as many "new comers" to the game are learning the game. I am blogging this as I want some help in "officiating." I don't like being the only one who calls foul when someone makes an obvious misstep in playing the game. I am hoping that this blog will create much conversation about the topic, I'll then post the list in the margin so that it shows up for several weeks, months... years and new-comers to the site may read and learn. So I'll start the list and hope that you'll comment and bring other needed topics to the list so that we can all learn together.

1) Acting out of turn - I believe that we have some of the world's worst players relative to this one. I know that it is difficult. Some people may have folded, but if you just raised the $25 pot to $100 and the guy sitting to your immediate left goes all-in for another $2000 or so.... give it a second or two for the 8-9 players between you and him to act before you announce your call. I promise, it won't hurt long and you just might get some more action! You never know.

2) Announcing what "you" believe a person's cards are at the end of the hand BEFORE they turn them up. This is a most annoying habit. If you happen to call out the correct cards and someone else called or folded based on what they thought the cards were, it seems to me that all you have done is validate their play and therefore make them feel more confident in their actions. I understand trying to figure out other player's hands, but blurting them out at the end of the hand is elementary at best and produces no good results. It helps others at the table to begin to think strategically. In most instances, no good can come from that in the long run except in the Juice's case where it will likely cause blood veins to burst. And although him dying would be good, it would leave the table short-handed.

3) Slow rolling. Boy, this one has gotten out of hand too. Rather than it being viewed as elementary and poor form, it practically gets accolades and high fives at the Juice's game. But then again, he's a prick. In most professional games, if there is a called bet after the river, the person who bet and was called should as soon as is practical turn up his cards and then the cards should be turned up or mucked from that person clock-wise around the table. There have been a couple of instances where I have "accidentally" slow-rolled when it was late, I was tired and I just missed seeing that I had a hand until it was late, but in every instance, it was accidental. I would NEVER slow roll on purpose. I think it is childish, unprofessional and rude to the other players but funny as hell when done properly.

4) Splashing the pot - throwing your chips. OK, why do I even need to say it. We have been playing cards a long time now and you still do it. Try this - before it gets to you, begin thinking about what you plan to do. When its your turn, announce your action, if its a bet, announce the bet and then in an organized manner quickly stack your chips in front of your cards. Was that difficult? I don't think so. I promise it won't hurt long and it'll speed up play. It may even permit us to get in the one hand that might get you the chips back that you just splashed the pot with while you were drawing dead. Try it... nothing but good can come from it!

5) Standing up. I sit at the table just as long as everyone else and my back bothers me some too, but during the hand when you are one of the guys forcing the action.... sit your ass down. And if you stand up and lift your cards with you, I think the dealer should warn you the first time and the next time it happens, muck your cards. I have seen it happen more than once when someone bet at the table not knowing that someone might be in the hand because they were standing up with their cards in their hands. I remember Rick bet one night and didn't know that Ron was in the hand and as soon as he found out that Ron had cards, he just mucked his hand. He was not happy. The point is... during the hand, if you're in the hand.... sit down.

6) Card throwing. How childish is that! It's like the Johnny Tyler quote from Tombstone, "I swear, it's like I'm playin' cards with my brother's kids or somethin'. You nerve-wrackin' sons-a-bitches." Again, the dealer should take control and warn them the first time and ask them to leave if they do it again.

7) Revealing details about cards in the muck. I was originally going to call this 'talking about your cards, once you've mucked' but after this past Saturday night with the Juice, I had to re-title it. You see, in our game, as in many local poker rooms, in order to speed up play, it is a common habit to play with 2 decks. One, that's being used in the current hand, and a 2nd deck that may be shuffled by "the button" so that as soon as this hand is over, the deck will be ready and the new hand may begin. Well, the Juice found an entirely new level of aggravation for me et al. Let me describe this to you... there's an active hand being played and I don't remember all the players who were in the hand and who wasn't. I do know some.... I know that the Juice wasn't in, I wasn't in but Keith was.... Michael flipped up the river card and piled up the muck and the remaining deck and passed it to the Juice since he would be the button on the next hand for him to begin to organize the cards for the shuffle. It's a common practice, it happens all the time. The Juice stands the cards on their edges with the business side facing the table of players. I say, "careful, they're still playing, those cards are live" and point to the cards. He proceeds to put the cards down "face-up" and spread them across the table where everyone can see practically all the cards that are not in the player's hands or already up on the board. The first card that pops out to me is a 9 and this is an important card since there's already 2 nines face up on the board. As it turns out, Keith had top boat with Kings full of nines and with the threat of quads out of the picture, free to bet. You still have to bet the big boat, but it's nice to know that quads aren't possible. I'm not sure how it ended as I immediately cashed out and went home early. They were discussing the poor decision by the Juice as I left, but I am certain that it was just one of many for the night.

Part II of this pet peeve is also about revealing your cards while the game is still being played either by verbalization (the Juice) or by attempting to hold "the winning hand" so that you can show everyone the monster that you laid down. Who cares? We've all done it and we all just want to get to the next hand. So please do not tell or hold your cards, when you fold, just fold and let's move on. We don't care that you folded a 9 and the flop was the other three 9's. We don't care that you folded to a raise with the 10s/6s and the flop was 7s, 8s, 9s ---- we just don't care. Fold and let's move on. If you must verbalize those plays, do it here where we do care!

Do you have some pet peeves involving poor etiquette? I'd like to hear about it.... and this is the proper forum for it.

Let the suck outs begin!