If It's Tuesday...

…This must be Dave’s. Well, it was another interesting night with The Jizz. Club straight flushes were hot; I think there were four of them! Monkeys flying everywhere…

Anyway, it was another weird night for me. Started pretty slow, as Davey showed up late. We played probably 80% Omaha 8, and I’ll bet I had no more then four or five playable hands all night. Funny how the cards come – some nights you’ll get a hand like A-A-2-4 a half-dozen times, and some nights (like last night) every hand seems to be Q-9-6-2. Oh well, that’s poker. I mostly folded pre-flop, and I won or split maybe four hands in the first couple hours.

After slowly bleeding off around half of the initial $400 buy-in, I reloaded for another $200. Still no excitement, but I did manage to build my stack a bit when I flopped to a couple so-so hands, and was able to bet someone off the other half of the pot. There were a few hands that stand out, however. Strangely, they were all against Dave – go figure!

In O8 I look down at Kc-Kh-Qh-10d, limp in along with half of Raleigh, and the flop come Ks-7c-6c. Top set, of course, but I’m not terribly excited about the hand, since there’s two to a flush, straight, and low. If I do get any action I’ll probably need to either pair the board or get some pretty specific high cards to scoop the pot, so I’ll be happy to take it down right now. I make a pot-sized bet of $30, and Dave calls. Well, the Kd comes on the turn, and all of a sudden I am terribly excited about my hand. Dang, that card was almost too good, now I won’t get any action. Oh wait, Dave’s in the hand with me…

I honestly don’t remember the exact betting sequence on the turn, but I do know that he immediately called my $365 all-in bet when the 8c comes on the river, proclaiming something about a monkey. I, of course, turn over my monkey (Latin: mestackimus yourchipsus), and Dave turns over sixes full, or some other very unmonkeylike hand. He has no low, so it’s a scooper.

After another couple hours of seemingly folding every hand in sight, I pick up a speculative little O8 hand, something like a double-suited 2-4-5-8. Flop comes something like 3-6-7, giving me nut high and a decent low (looking for the magic ace…). The betting sequence is unimportant, but the turn and river bring 9-Q or something like that. Davey Boy checks the river, I bet $75 or so, and he goes all-in for far more money than he knows what to do with. Hmmm, did he just get lucky and hit the big straight on me? I figure he must have the nut low, and call pretty quickly. He has no low, but proudly turns over his quad sixes, again yelling something about a monkey. Um, just uno problemo there, Jose. Yes, you guessed it, he had three sixes in his hand, giving him the “Jizz Monkey” (Latin: dumbshiteus ignoramus).

God bless you, Dave.

Finally, while playing NLHE three-handed ($5/10 blinds) after all the non-players left, I look down at Ah-Ad. I’m on the button and min-raise to $20. Dave, in the small blind, raises another $50. John folds, and I raise to $250 (yes, I know he would have called an all-in, but sometimes you want to play with your fish for a few minutes before landing him). He calls, and the flop comes something like Kd-8d-3d, giving me the nut flush draw as well. Dave checks and I push in. He immediately calls and is drawing very thin with the 10s-10d. I guess he was hoping for the flush to come, and Jarod kindly granted him his wish.

That did it for Dave, and for me as well. I would’ve stayed and taken more of his money, but I didn’t have any more room in my trunk, and the local U-Haul™ office wasn’t open yet. Of course, he blamed his lousy play on, get this, a spider bite. I can’t wait to hear what Thursday’s excuse is: Hantavirus? Bird Flu? Bubonic Plague? Paper Cut…?

See ya at the tables…
Rick