Charles' Greatest Hits

Anyone who has played poker with Charles is painfully (literally) aware of his singing, humming and whistling, um, prowess. How many times have you been sitting next to him, and as he was emanating some noise that can only be described as the mating call of the manatee, thought to yourself “Boy, I wish I could listen to this all day long!?” Well, now you can! In a special collaboration, Time/Life Books, K-TEL, the Franklin Mint, Home Shopping Network, the Helen Keller Institute, and William Hung have all come together to bring you Charles’ Greatest Hits!

You get unforgettable standards such as:

Keep Calling With That Crap!
(I Feel Like I’m In) A Room Full of Donkeys
Uh-KAAAY
Where’s Dave?
That Warm Spot in the Water (Isn’t What You Think)

Now, these songs alone would be enough to keep you up night after night. But wait, there’s more! You’ll also receive these timeless classics:

Badonkadonk!
(Why Don’t You Just) Roll Over and Piss on Yourselves!
Nice Suckout, *&%$#!
Ay-Deeeen
Rick is Soooooo Lucky

This selection is not sold in stores, and won’t last for long. It’s only available through this special offer. If you order in the next 30 minutes, we’ll throw in:

Hee-Haw!
(Hey Dealer, I Think I Got) Shorted Again
Cold-Decked to Death!
Get the Monkey! (And Give it to My Opponent)

How much would you pay for an incredible selection like this? In most poker rooms you could expect to get paid several hundred dollars while listening to these one-of-a-kind originals. However, if you act right now, we’ll also throw in an extra bonus track:

Who Wants to Chop? (Duet with The Juice)

Yes, this compilation has it all! This amazing collection would normally sell for close to $2.00. Since Charles has a small family, however (and even most of them reneged on their promise to buy it), we’re forced to sell the overstock for the low, low price of just .99 cents. Satisfaction guaranteed, or we’ll send a second one free! Don’t wait – order yours today!

Disclaimer
Listen at your own risk. May cause temporary bulimia. His humming has been proven to attract alien spacecraft and dogs in heat, while driving away most humans. His singing may cause uncontrollable snickers. His whistling has been known to shatter Pyrex™, and in some cases (including his), cause listeners to become tone-deaf. Not responsible for hearing loss, or for any permanent psychological damage to listener. Though it may sound like it, no farm animals were injured during the recording session.