Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Definitions

Slow-roll (v.)
Pronunciation: slo'-rol
Etymology: Middle English rolle ye slow, Anglo-French roule slowez pour favor, Latin slowa e rolla, Ebonics slow your roll biatch; all of which share meaning akin to wheel, as in the wheels on the bus go round and round, and as in I will literally drive my wheels over you if you do that again.
1. To reveal your cards in such a manner as to create mass confusion, hysteria, and ill-will toward the person revealing their cards, generally followed by swearing, chest thumping, and threats on the life or the unborn children of the person revealing their cards in this manner. There are three methods of slow-rolling: a) revealing your cards one at a time such that the card or cards which puts a nail in the coffin of your opponent is revealed last, or b) waiting until the pot is on it's way to your opponent to throw your cards on the table with gusto, pronouncing "my two pair of Kings-up DOES beat your two pair", or c) to stare at your hand long enough in disgust that 67o beat your KK, only to find that it actually does beat 67o, followed by a well timed and executed muck-bluff, and then quietly turning them over, proclaiming yourself the champion slowroller. There are two acceptable times in which such a manuever will delight and amaze the table and not offend your opponent or other players at the table: i) When the opponent is the Juice, or ii) When the opponent is the Juice.
2. To spend the rest of the evening after being slow-rolled delaying the showdown of losing cards in a futile attempt to convince the rest of the table that they aren't complete and utter rubbish.
Variations: slow-rolled, slow-rolling. That bastard slow-rolled me. Stop slow-rolling or I'll throw a beatdown on you.

Slowplay (v.)
Pronunciation: slo'-pla
Etymology: Spanish Humberto, which means, well, everything that delusional Costa Retardian wants it to mean
1. To play slow.
2. See Bill.

2 comments:

Rick said...

Very nice - I think I'm inspired...

Charles R said...

I would love to say that it was intentional for it got a reaction from Dave that I, in all the time that I put in trying to figure some way to put him... more on tilt than normal, could never have even dreamed of.... but in this particular instance, it was a brain fart...